The Canadian Reformed Church of Aldergrove

Christian Divorce ?

The statistic is brutal and alarming: almost one half of all Canadian marriages end in divorce. In Canada it has never been easier to become divorced than in our time, since the laws have been greatly relaxed in recent years. It is to the point that one partner can force a divorce upon the other against their will simply by waiting it out (i.e. living separate for only 1 year). Quick divorces make for many broken homes. Many children are being raised by one parent with visiting rights granted the other. Meanwhile, the care-giving parent is free to enter into a new relationship so that the child may, in time, come to know three parents. Sadly, divorce is becoming common-place in Canada, and Christians are not immune to it. What should Christians think of divorce?

That question really depends on the answer to a more basic question: what should Christians think of marriage? We’ve recently seen¹ that marriage is a holy relationship, instituted by God Himself in the Garden of Eden. He brought together one man and one woman to live as husband and wife. This was never meant as a temporary union. God intended it to last for the duration of their life as the Lord Jesus explained, “Haven't you read," he replied, "that at the beginning the Creator 'made them male and female,' and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh'? So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.”² Christians, of all people, should recognize and cherish the life-long relationship of husband and wife. As they prepare to marry, divorce should not even enter their thinking as some sort of escape route, in case things don’t work out. Pre-nuptial agreements simply aren’t Christian! They only testify to a lack of trust of and commitment to one another. Marriage is a holy state before the Lord and to trifle with that is to anger God, as He also made clear in the book of Malachi, “I hate divorce," says the LORD God of Israel.”³ Christians should honour marriage and do their utmost to preserve the holiness of that God-given relationship.

But does the Lord not allow for divorce? It is true He makes an allowance, but it is certainly not commanded or even encouraged. When the Jews pointed out to Him that Moses had issued several divorce laws, Christ’s response was, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning.”⁴ He then went on to give one exception where divorce may take place, “I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery.”⁶ Only adultery may (not must) serve to so break the holy union between husband and wife that divorce is permissible. But much preferable is to heal the brokenness through forgiveness and reconciliation. Far from opening the door to more marriage break-up, Jesus tightened it and restored the ideal of life-long marriage as God intended from the beginning. So Christians must make every effort to preserve the unity of the marriage bond.

There is one other possibility for divorce as a Christian. The Apostle Paul speaks to those marriages where one spouse is a believer and the other not. He insists that the believing spouse must make no effort to leave but to the contrary must remain married so far as it depends upon him or herself. But, he continues, “if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace.”⁷ So if a Christian is deserted by an unbelieving spouse, that marriage may rightfully be terminated in the eyes of God.

The requirement of our Lord and Saviour is: preserve your marriage as a holy state. Sadly, it is in this beautiful God-given relationship that we often see so much sin and corruption enter in. What is intended as something harmonious and helpful so often becomes something acrimonious and destructive. If your marriage is like that, and you are both believers, seek forgiveness for your sins in the blood of Jesus Christ. Take a good, hard look at your own failings and then meet each other at the foot of the cross to confess your sins to each other and to the Lord. And then go forward in the strength of His Spirit to renew your marriage. The Lord is powerful and in Him there is hope for change. Are you willing to seek His power?

Biblical quotations on this page are from: 1) See answers to questions, “Free Sex?” and “Same-sex Marriage?”; 2) Matthew 19:4-6; 3) Malachi 2:16; 4) Matthew 19:8; 5) Matthew 19:9; 6) 1 Corinthians 7:12,13; 7) 1 Corinthians 7:15

All Scripture quotations are taken from the New International Version (NIV)

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Questions and Answers:

1. How shall we liive?
2. Rebel or Respect?
3. Dare to Discipline?
4. Fetus or Baby?
5. Death Penalty?
6. Should Sex be Free ?
7. Same-Sex Marriage?
8. Christian Divorce?
9. Roll the Dice?
10. White Lies?
11. What is Truth?
12. How is Your Heart?

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