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Should Sex be Free? What are Christians to make of this approach to sexuality? Is sex to be “free” for Christians too? The Bible introduces us to sexuality and sexual intercourse in the early chapters of Genesis already. After creating Adam, God went on to create a “helper suitable for him,”1 to assist Adam in ruling over God’s creation. This perfect helper was the woman Eve. What happens next is important to understand the gift of sexual intercourse, for we read that the LORD “brought her to the man.”2 This was the world’s first marriage ceremony! The marriage was later concluded with this beautiful commentary, “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.”3 God did two things at once here: 1) He established the marriage relationship as His gift to mankind and, 2) Within that marriage bond He gave the gift of sexual intercourse. In other words, sex belongs within marriage, and only there. And that arrangement remained in place throughout history and is still in force today. The LORD later said it clearly in the 7th Commandment, “You shall not commit adultery.”4 Adultery specifically means having sexual intercourse other than with your married partner. When David took another man’s wife for his own pleasure, that sin cost him dearly as he tried to cover it up from people and before God, “When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long. For day and night your hand was heavy upon me; my strength was sapped as in the heat of summer. Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity. I said, "I will confess my transgressions to the LORD"-- and you forgave the guilt of my sin.”5 David’s conscience was bothered severely by God’s Spirit till at last He repented and recognized how he offended God, as he said, “Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight, so that you are proved right when you speak and justified when you judge.”6 And what about having sex totally outside of marriage? Check out how far-reaching the Lord Jesus is, “You have heard that it was said, ‘Do not commit adultery.’ But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”7 Christ later included it in a list of sins, “For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander.”8 The Apostle Paul makes it clear that even a hint of sexual impurity is out of place for a Christian, “But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people.”9 The Bible makes no bones about condemning those who teach and practice the “free sex” philosophy as John writes, “But the cowardly, the unbelieving, the vile, the murderers, the sexually immoral, those who practice magic arts, the idolaters and all liars-- their place will be in the fiery lake of burning sulfur. This is the second death."10 So sex is not to be freely engaged in whenever, wherever, or with whomever. But sex is to be freely enjoyed within the holy relationship of marriage. That’s what God created it for and in Christ’s saving work also sexuality within marriage is restored to its proper focus and use again. Paul speaks about this as follows: “The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.”11 Notice the selflessness here? Married couples are to honour the God-given gift of sexuality by selflessly giving to one another the pleasure of sexual intercourse. “Free sex” advocates teach us to satisfy our own sexual appetite, period. The Bible teaches us to satisfy our husband or wife first. Free sex is a hollow, momentary pleasure that quickly fades away. Intercourse within a Christian marriage is the peak or climax of a genuine relationship of mutual and self-less love. It has a solid basis in lasting love enjoyed as God’s gift to His glory. And it alone enjoys the blessing of the Lord. Don’t go for so-called “free sex” (everything has a cost in the end!), but let your sexuality be set free from sin within your marriage as you enjoy a relationship that has been redeemed by Christ. Biblical quotations
on this page are from: 1) Genesis 2:18; 2)
Genesis 2:22; 3) Genesis 2:24; 4)
Exodus 20:14; 5) Psalm 32:3-5; 6)
Psalm 51:4; 7) Matthew 5:27,28; 8) Matthew
15:19; 9) Ephesians 5:3; 10) Revelation
21:8; 11) 1 Corinthians 7:3-5 Looking for more? Has God planted a hunger in your heart to seek Him?
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about the faith, encouragement and support then please consider joining
us for our weekly Coffee
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